I know you have been waiting patiently so here it is, the first one of my blogs about my Mexico trip. It is hard to believe that I have been back now for 3 weeks. It was such an incredible time. I felt like I stretched my faith muscles. As necessary as it is for God to work on you like that from time to time, it can also be a very painful thing. I really hope that after hearing some of my experiences that it will encourage you to step out in faith and do a little mission work too. Everyone can do at least short-term missions. I was there for only a week. Hey, if I can do it, you better believe that you can too!
I knew when I first found out about this trip that it was going to be pretty amazing and life-changing for me. First of all, I was going to be going by myself. Don't get me wrong, I was going with other team members but I wasn't going to be going with any of my kids. My daughter is 9 years old. It has been at least that long since I have gone more than 2 days without her. Plus, I have been doing fostercare for more than a year now. So I have had at least 3 kids pretty much always around me for the last year. I am a Mom. It's what I do. I'm more than that but that is the season that I am in right now. Being away from all of them for a week was a little exciting, but mostly frightening.
Would they be okay? Would they think that I was leaving them forever? All my kids have issues that makes them scared that I might die or just leave and they would be alone. Even my daughter. They have all had important people in their lives leave them at a critical time. I had known about the mission trip since January so I had time to pray over them and talk it up to them. I assured them that I would be okay, a weeks not that long, nothing will happen to me. I'm not who I was reassuring the most, them or me. My neice called me about a week before I left and asked if it would be possible for them to hire an armed guard to be around me at all times. How precious is that? I told them all that I would be perfectly safe. I was going to a safe area, and wouldn't ever go anywhere by myself.
Even after all that, my kids were acting crazy the week before I left. Oh, they act crazy a good portion of the time, but they were working over time! I knew why. They were anxious and worried. Even though I knew that, it was hard to deal with because my own anxiety level was pretty high. I was worried about them, worried that they were feeling abandoned. I knew I probably would in their shoes. I had a tough one with that. We all prayed together as a family to get through it.
Then on the other hand, I had people who I know and love who thought I was crazy for going in the first place. 'You're a single mom, you have foster kids, you can't afford to take off work, why don't you do mission trips in the US.....the list goes on and on. My response was, "I have to go where God calls me. I'm nervous, but I'm excited. I have plans for my boys to stay at respite and my daughter is staying with my brother and his wife and then later going to my friends house. They are all excited that I get this opprotunity. Don't you want me to have this experience?" They looked at me kind of funny, but didn't bring it up again. Most of these people are not believers, or at least not a sold-out believer like I am. I will go where He sends me. Period, end of story. It was difficult to deal with at first but as the time got closer, I got more excited and it didn't bother me anymore.
The night before I left, all 4 of us slept in the living room. I was up late packing and then had a hard time sleeping. I prayed my way through it and finally slept about 4 hours. We all got up, the kids went to school after lots of hugs and kisses. I drove to Sterling to see my Grandma before I left. She is kind of my surrogate Mom. The loss of my mom was easier for us both because we could lean on one anotherin our greif. She can't replace my mom and I can't replace her daughter, but we can be their for each other. Her love and encouragement have seen me through some really tough times the last few years! She is so precious to me! Anyway, we visited for an hour or so and prayed. It was an awesome time. I drove back here to Great Bend and my friends came to pick me up to drive to Tulsa about an hour later.
That hour was very long for me. Doubts were running through my head like crazy. What am I doing? This Kansas girl who doesn't wear dresses, doesn't like to sweat, and has never been on an airplane is going to Mexico? Because of the culture there I would have to wear dresses, it's super hot and humid so I would sweat like crazy, and I have been known to be slightly clausterphobic!! What am I doing? I can't do this!!!!
Here is where I got down on my knees...."Father, you are the author and finisher of my faith. You have ordained this trip. There is no other way these things could have fallen into place to allow me to go. Thank you that when I am weakest is when You are at Your best. I love you and I trust you, Lord. Holy Spirit, give me peace. Give me the grace to get in the truck when my friends come. Keep me safe, keep my children safe. Thank you that we are all in the palm of Your gracious hand." I felt an overwhelming peace come over me. I could do this. Anything that my Father wants me to do, I can do. He won't give me more than I can handle.
Okay, I do realize that this was a teaser, but it would take a small book to write it all. So instead of that, I am going to write several blogs. Until next time.......
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