My Divine Romance

Okay, I know you guys are going to expect for me to write about the amazing things that happened on my trip. After all, I have been home for a week now so I should have had time to process stuff and have enough material for several blogs right? Well, I do and I will get to those. However, Saturday night I just had this revelation that I need to share with you guys.

Like I have said before, God made me a promise about my husband back in September. It hasn't been easy to try to be patient. Right after that, God laid on my heart Hebrews 10:23 and I have typed it up and it has been tacked on my hallway wall ever since. While I was in Mexico, God was dealing with me some more about my husband and his promises. I will have to tell you more about that later. I am more at peace with that than I have been in a long time.

I was laying in my bed and having a hard time falling asleep. When my mind won't settle down I have made it my routine to talk to my Heavenly Father and kind of let my mind wander where it wants. These are the times when I have had some truley incredible, divine breakthroughs. I think that that is when God talks to me the most. I am not moving and my body is relaxed and my kids are asleep so it's like he has my undivided attention. Like one on one time between me and my Daddy. These times really are precious to me.

I was laying there and thinking about what I needed my husband to be. I needed him to be the spirtually strong leader of my home. I need him to be an incredible father to my children, especially my daughter. She is my precious one. I love my foster kids like they are my own, don't get me wrong. But my daughter is such a shining light. She is so incredibly loving and sweet. I have blogged about this before but she really needs a daddy that will love her and cherish her and tell her how amazing she is. A man that will treat her heart with tender, loving care. I would want him to be a prayer warrior. I would want him to be my protector. Someone that will walk through life with me. I want him to cherish me and think that I am the most incredible woman that he has ever met. That's not too much to ask. I know it's not because that's what my Daddy wants for me. Not only am I His princess and beloved daughter, but so are my kids. He does not want just any man to be in our lives. He has a specific one picked out.

Then I was thinking how wonderful it will be when I meet him. Awesome and nerveracking at the same time. This will be the man that I will spend the rest of my life with! I have never had anyone love me that much or treat me that good. Oh, to be courted and romanced by my husband....it will be a completely new experience for me. How exciting to know that I don't have to settle! God doesn't want me to! He wants only the best for me. You have no idea how liberating that is! To know that he is not something that I have to seek out or wish upon a star.....this is going to happen. Thank you God!

So, as all these things are running through my head an undeniable fact zinged through my spirit. I have been courted and loved and cherished like that.

A year ago, I was having surgery to have a tumor removed. I prayed to God like I always did when I needed something but it was different this time. As I was being wheeled into the operating room, I had this undeniable peace. I was okay. From that point on, my life was changed. God started romancing me. He led me to this church that I had an incredible and extremely personal encounter with Him. I asked Him to be the Lord of my life for the last time. I wanted nothing else. No matter what it took, I wanted to follow Him. I wanted that peace to be with me for the rest of my life. I would die of thirst without it. Once you have tasted that kind of peace and love, it's intoxicating. You cannot live without it. I could not go back. I was hooked. I was in love.

It was a very scary thing. I had been hurt severely by family, friends, and ex-husbands. I had built my walls so high and thick I thought no one would ever get through to my heart. To let someone in would mean they would have the power to hurt me. I could never let them see the real me. I could never let anyone see my pain and fear. God gently broke through them all. He wanted my heart. He wouldn't stop until He had all of me. You see, once I gave myself to Him, He claimed me. I was His. He wanted to heal me from the inside out. He came to restore. He came to love. He came to overcome all the hurt that had been done to me.

When I could no longer be around some of my family or friends because they couldn't understand the new me, He was there. That was a new kind of hurt. I am a very social person and it was hard to have no one to talk to. It was a lonely few months. He drew me closer to Him. I really pressed in and cried out to God and poured my hurt at His feet. He then provided awesome Christian friends that are so close to me that they are my spiritual family.

He healed me from my past abusive relationships. He let me know that marriage isn't ownership by putting awesome Christian couples in my life. I knew that for them, God was in the middle of their marriage and that's what made the difference. Their marriages were solid partnerships.

He has been faithful and good. He has shown me beautiful things. He has given me incredible hope where there was none before. He filled up this empty shell into something useful. Not only useful, but lovely. He has made me who I am. He loves me. I am His cherished one. He even brought me all the way to Mexico to see and experinence indescribable things. He gave me the beauty of the flowers, the ocean, the birds, and the freeing worship there. He put me in a place that was quiet and I was a bit out of my element with no kids to take care of. I had to focus on me. He wanted me to slow down for a minute.

He is truley the lover of my soul. I am smack dab in the middle of a divine romance. I have been being courted for most of my life. I have only just now become aware of it. Let me tell you something, it is the most humbling thing. How can I ever repay all the things the He has done for me? He doens't even want anything in return! He wants me to have the best things in life, just because that's who He is. Is it any wonder that I am head over heels for my Lord and Savior? I am on fire for Him!

You have no idea how that made me feel. I finally connected the dots. I don't have to wait to feel that kind of love. I experience it every day! Don't get me wrong, I am still looking forward to meeting my husband and all the wonderful things that will go along with it. It's just that I don't need my husband to complete me. I'm going to remember to always keep God first in my life because only by His grace am I here at all. I can only imagine how it will be when I meet the man who feels the same way about my God that I do! Thank you God for your faithfulness and your love. I recieve it! I want nothing more than to live my life for You. Thank you for making me whole again. Thank you for saving my life.

Okay I have saved the best news for last....all this can be yours too! God wants to be the lover of your soul, your restorer, your redeemer. He is waiting to start romancing you. Just wait and see! You think this little bit of my story is awesome, He has something special in mind just for yoiu. He knows you and He loves you. He has been waiting all your life for you to come back home. I can't wait to hear about your very own divine romance!