Footprints and Victory

I'm not sure what I'm going to blog about tonight but I feel compelled to put down some thoughts so I guess we will see where this will take us. My house is so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Shocking, I know. I think I have figured out the secret to getting my kids to go to bed on time on a weekend without actually making them do it. I told them all that they could stay up as late as they want and watch movies. They were all asleep by 9pm! Here is how it went down.

My youngest was the first to bed but not because he fell asleep. All the kids were laying down on the floor with their blankets. He started doing things like laying on their legs, standing in front of the TV with his arms spread wide, singing at the top of his lungs, and running through the front room. Okay, that's enough. Time for bed. I think he was secretly relieved. He would have rather got sent to bed for being in trouble than being the baby who went to bed first because he was tired.

The other two fell asleep on the floor within minutes of each other. I made them both move to their beds and now it's just me up, sitting on my bed, talking to you. What should we talk about friend? Kids? I always talk about my kids. Sometimes I think that people must get sick of hearing about them. Housework? No, I definitely do not want to go there. Shopping? Oh, I do have something happy to say about that. I had bought a new pair of jeans and they were too big! I had to take them back today! They were the same size and style I usually got and they kept falling off my hiney! Yay! That was a pretty good feeling. Okay, I know what I want to talk about.

Footprints and victory. The last few days I have been talking to my Father a lot about a situation I have going on. Before I talked to anyone about it I needed to seek Him first. His answer isn't audible or physical but it's very real. He is so very good to me. I feel very at peace now. In the last few days I have also been thinking about a tattoo I want to get. Didn't see that one coming did you? Haha! I have met a new friend who lives in Colorado, is a Christian, and runs her own tattoo shop. Since I am visiting there next week I was talking to her about it. We tossed around ideas and I just wasn't sure what I wanted or even if the time was right to get another one. She asked me what I was passionate about. I said God. She asked me what I think see when I think about God. That was a pretty deep question. I had to think about that. Her suggestion was a set of footprints to represent my kiddos.

While I was thinking, I was still praying for God to just hide me right now in this time. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone about my feelings because I hadn't processed them yet. This was my prayer...Father, I am confused, I am hurt, and I need you right now. I need to feel you. Please stay beside me. Keep your hand on my shoulder. Hide me from those who would want to hurt me, whether it be knowingly or not. I want to do Your will but I need time to recover. Please Father, be my Daddy now. Comfort me. And he did. Today I felt relief from my hurt and stress. Nobody knew I was struggling with anything. It was just something that I was dealing with in my head. For me, that is where my battle lies, and where the enemy likes to attack me most. That doesn't mean I'm crazy. It's like this, "Those people you think care about you, they don't. They can't stand you. Why would God love you? What have you done to deserve that kind of devotion? Look at you, you are nothing!" All lies. All of them. But, this is something that sometimes I still struggle with. Sometimes an unkind word can send my brain into that tailspin and I just have to pray my way out of it. Even the most seemingly secure and confident people have their struggles. Being a Christian doesn't mean your life will be all peaches and cream but it does give you an anchor in the storm. Even though no one can see it, that battle is very real. But it is also what makes me an overcomer. I wake up every morning and choose to serve God. I choose to believe His word and love for me.

How does this relate to victory and footprints? As I was taking plates to customers this afternoon I walked by one of those footprint poems. Now I have seen those things a million times. Today though, I stopped and looked at that picture with the poem. It really hit me then. What I have been praying for, is just what that poem represents. When I am having a difficult time, I press into my Father. I am not ashamed to let Him know that I am weak and need His protection. Those are the times that He is carrying me. But not just because He sees that I need it but that I ask Him, and sometimes even beg Him, for it. There is power and victory in that! I don't want to stand on my own. When I do that, I screw it up completely! I am most victorious when I am standing in my Father's light and love. When our footsteps are as one. Thank you Jesus! Thank you that you love me enough to help me when I ask. Thank you for being there and answering my prayers! I am feeling very much like a Daddy's Girl right now. It feels so good to know that someone loves me that much!

Well, I guess I should be doing something productive. Starting with laundry, again, so I can get the kids' bags packed. On Monday, we are taking my little circus on the road! My daughter is looking forward to time without the boys but I predict by the time we hit the Colorado border she will be asking when we are picking them back up again. I know they will have a great time at respite and we girls will have fun too. I am so looking forward to seeing those mountains and my family there. So I am signing off until next time....