The pressure is on! Doing this blog was a little easier when just a few of my friends were reading it. Now I understand that a lot of my facebook friends have posted in their status about my blog with a link and a few of their friends have done it as well. I'm kind of amazed that people in California may be reading my rambling words. Hey, I wonder how many people are reading this thing anyway. It sure would be interesting to know!

This morning started out like any other. I pushed the snooze button one too many times, as usual. This morning my daughter insisted on eating a healthy breakfast at home (not too sure how healthy pancakes are). She said her teacher said they have to eat a good breakfast and get lots of sleep because they have their state testing this week. This is my daughters first go round with them. She was kind of nervous and excited to take a test that she can't study for. She was teaching the boys a cheer to cheer for her so she would do well on the tests. I don't know how she gets them do to some of the stuff they do. Oh wait, I do know. I'm a big sister too who bossed around her little brother. Even today, if I get that right tone of voice with my 6 foot 2 brother his feet will unwillingly go to do my bidding. Then he shakes his head and we both laugh. Some things are just ingrained I guess!

I took the kids to school and came home. My youngest played while I fixed and ate my breakfast. I went to put on makeup and he followed me. I went to my bedroom to put on perfume and he followed me. I went to make my lunch for work and he followed me. I went to put my shoes on and he followed me. Here is where it got interesting. Imagine and indignant 2 year old with eyebrows raised saying, "Mom what are you doing?" "I'm putting my shoes on. You need to go get yours on too. We gotta go." "Where are we going?" "I have to go to work." "Again!! You just went yesterday!!" "I realize that. I have to go again." "Why? Why do you have to go?" He was insisting that he was going to work with me. Before I could bat an eyelash he was in full blown fit mode, spread eagle on the floor screaming, "I can't put my shoes on!! I'm a baby!! I'm a baby!!" A big, huge sigh escaped me here. How do I deal with this one? I whipped out my phone and called my sister in law. Then I tell him we are going to work. I am not dropping him off after all. We get to work and she is waiting on us there. He looked so surprised and then in awe. Oh yes, Mama ate her Wheaties this morning. She got one over on her astonished 2 year old son. At least this time. Tomorrow may be a different story completely!

Can I just say here that I love my job? And I do mean that. Not just because my boss, who is also my pastor, reads this blog (Hey Henry!). But mostly because the environment I work in is so positive and uplifting. God is the center of that business and I am truly blessed to be there! It was slow at first so we sat down and were talking. He asked me if I watched the Oscars and I said no. He knows I like movies so he seemed kind of surprised. I said that I haven't watched any of those that were nominated and I don't follow actors or anything. He doesn't either. He asked why I hadn't seen any of the movies. I explained that I am in a season right now where I have to be careful of what I watch and listen to. Now here is where I have to explain something. Everyone is different. What is right and true for me isn't necessarily the right thing for everyone. Okay, moving on.

I don't know how this is for everyone else, but for me the movies I watch and the music I listen to make me think. I love to read and watch movies. I don't really watch that much TV but the radio is usually always on at my house. God speaks to me a lot through music. After I really started walking with Him I had to go through and delete most of the songs on my MP3 player. No one told me to do this. I just started actually listening to the words in those songs. I thought, if I can't listen to these songs with my kids in the room then they are gone. And then it became, if I don't want my kids singing these songs at school, they are gone. I wasn't left with much. What did happen though is I found some truly amazing Christian artists whose songs were uplifting and spoke to me! Now instead of my daughter walking around singing "Holler back girl" she is belting out ,"How He loves us". I don't think I have ever been as proud as when she started singing it in Walmart in a large crowd of people with no shame at all! I stood a little taller that day. That was a really good change for me and my family!

Next came books. I am an avid reader. I love all kinds of books. But mostly I was reading some funny and some romantic books. One day I sat down to start to read a book by one of my favorite authors. It opened up with a sex scene. Some of the things I was reading, including that the man didn't even know the woman's name, disturbed me. Actually, most of it did. I used to enjoy it. I got a lot of my friends hooked on these books. The changes in me were happening at an alarming rate!

In the midst of all these changes I decided on something that was really hard for me. I decided to not have sex until I was married. If I truly know and love God and claim to be walking with Him, I need to do what I know is right. Man! I know what you are thinking! She is a single mom who has been divorced and she gave up dating and sex?! It's true. This is not me lecturing anyone or trying to beat something into people at all. This is just me, sharing my journey with you.

Finally, came the change in movies. After my vow to myself and God I was having a really hard time of it. I mean, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the scenery but I couldn't look at any guy without thinking 'oh baby!' I was praying for God to give me guidance here. I asked Him to take lustful thoughts away from me so I could fulfill my promise to him. It helped. Did it cure me of the lust bug? No. Okay, now to the movie part. I had prebought tickets to go see this romantic movie with some of my girlfriends. We were going to make an evening of it. I couldn't go. Not because anyone told me. I just thought, "Hannah, you are praying for deliverance from thoughts that make you want to chase single men down the street but you are going to sit through 2 hours of those very thoughts you are asking to be delivered from?" Man, oh man. This sucks is what I was thinking at the time. I had to call my friends and tell them I couldn't go. I felt like a petulant child. I was not happy about not being able to go. I remember one of my friends telling me, "Couldn't you have decided this tomorrow, after we watched the movie? We have been looking forward to this for months!" It was pretty hard. This was the last straw. I went home and got all the books, movies and Cd's that I couldn't deal with and put them in a box and out into the storage shed.

I'm not going to lie. I was angry for a while. My thought process was that if I can't listen to and watch and read what I want to then I won't do anything at all. And I didn't for a month or so. I even had the cable shut off. It was pretty boring. One day I went to the library and checked out some Christian fiction. I was pleasantly surprised. I loved them! I started devouring every book I could find. It was really good, and suspenseful, and even some romances! Oh, thank you God!! I didn't have to read about boring stuff with boring people. It was a relief! Next, I asked my pastor, who is also a musician, for some good bands. He told me and I found this whole amazing list of singers that I love. Their music truly moves me and I just love it! I still love movies. I'm just a little more careful about what I watch is all. Does that mean I only watch what my kids can watch? Not 100 percent of the time. They are all under 10. That would get tedious, although I do love me some Veggie tales. Recently at church the topic was Jonah and my friend and I both sang out, "Jonah was a prophet, ooh oooh, but he never really got it, doodley doo!" Funny! I just know for me that I feel like I have to practice what I preach to my kids. You are princes and princesses....you need to always be careful and think about what you do and say. God is watching. So, if I would be mortified for my kids to be listening to, watching, or reading something I generally stay away from it. After all, what's good for the goose if good for the gander right?

Look at that! A whole blog with no mention of bodily functions in it! How many blogs did I say I would not talk about them anyway? Just remember I said try not promise. But I can't let you off the hook without telling you about something funny my kids did today. Before bed, my daughter asked me to check out the outfit she picked out for school tomorrow. It was lots of different colors which is not at all unusual for her. The thing I had to draw the line at was the blue tie dye tights with the pink plaid skirt. I said, "Honey, it's a little much. Why don't you do a solid color skirt and a cute shirt with your tights?" She looked at me with her eyes narrowed. She looked at me from head to foot; out of control curly hair thrown up in bobby pins (it's rainy today), my flowery top, jeans, and boots. She threw herself down on her bed and said dramatically, "Mom, you can't possibly understand my style!" She may have a point there. My girl has a look and personality all her own!